"Gungho."

As much as I look up to people who are hardworking and is always on-the-go, moving along with doing what they want to do and achieving successes in areas they placed their efforts in.

I no longer see a point in putting in my best efforts in the things that I do, the things that I used to take pride in.

What for, when all your efforts amount to nothing simply by an untrue statement made by a random stranger. I no longer see an outcome in the things that I do. Cynical, I do not think so. Time has proven me right over and over again. I am sick of hypnotizing myself that things will turn out okay eventually (I am not even talking about good nor fine). I am sick of secretly praying and hoping that someone will see my efforts and acknowledge me for that. I am tired of some people always being kind to others, but treats me like a piece of disposable shit.

Question is, am I that unworthy of that bit of effort?

Maybe I am worthy to just one silly boy.

Just wishing that, I am free from disturbance and is able to heal completely.

God, I think it's enough and please grant me a break from all things ugly.

That, including me.