Insecurities 101.

I just had to write something, I need to vent, I need to tell someone how I feel, I need to unwind this horrible feeling welling up inside me.

Firstly, social etiquette. Us, both as females, we should understand how each other feel, and you should know the stigma/appropriate behaviours of an ex. Have you every thought about how I'd feel when you constantly comment on my current boyfriend's sister's social media as if you're still very much involved in his life? You're 25, two years older than I am, and I'm very sure you're aware of what are appropriate and inappropriate behaviours.

I mean come on, if I'm younger than you, and I was friends with my ex for more than 4 years, I was close to his sister and maid too. And I, am aware enough to step out of his life.

Why?

Because I would want his next relationship to not have too many problems, I want to eliminate any chance of his new love feeling insecure or any of that negative feelings.

So please, have some self-awareness, be more considerate.

Nobody is stopping you from being friends with his sister, I clearly am not, either. But if you want to go all lovey-dovey on social media, please, just do it in private. At least, not directly in front of the entire world that "Hey, I'm his ex-girlfriend and I'm shamelessly still trying to be involved in his life."

Imagine this, you've a new boyfriend now, too, and that his ex-girlfriend constantly comments on his family member's social media feed, wait no, even his own social media feed.

Touch your heart girl. Really.

I sound like some petty little b*tch here but I really am quite annoyed at how some people lack self-awareness and also, they don't draw clear lines between what they can or cannot do.

At the same time, I know that I got to be the bigger person; it is not Ben's fault that this girl is constantly stepping beyond boundaries, he also has no say in his sister nor her actions. And on my part, all I can do is to constantly remind myself that I got to be secured.

Secured, secured, secured.

It's tiring as hell, but I'm really trying my very best.

By best, I mean, really, it's to a point when I can break down anytime and I don't even know where my thoughts are sometimes.

They are all flowing with, "Qiya please be secured."

"You're more big hearted than this, you're more big hearted than this."

Never-ending chant.