Tuesday, February 07, 2017

24th

Birthday in an hour and I'm not feeling okay.

To be honest, I don't even know when was the last time I felt full and happy. It seemed like year ago, and I've been living life on the downs without knowing how to be okay on my own.

Every year, I question my existence and I wonder why people always leave me when I give them their best. I question why people just see the worst side of me when I try to earn their approvals like a dog eager to get an owner's love. I wonder why I'm not who I was and I wonder why I'm afraid of everyone and everything. I get confused as to what my goals were and I don't know why I lose sight of them through this process called growth.

This gets more upsetting each year. It's to a point where I can no longer put my emotions into words and, I can't write about it anymore.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happy 24th Birthday Qiyapenguin92! Hope this year will be more awesome year for you :) Stay optimistic - as everyday is a new experience. Remember that no one will care about yourself more than yourself, so be less harsh on you as nobody else would be so hard on you! 8D May I know what industry are you working in now? If possible give yourself a break and pamper yourself just for today. Cheers!

Qiya LaBeouf said...

It's 93! And omg are you from SJAB or sth. Hahaha. Penguin's what my squadmates call me. Thank you so much! I left my previous job at ArtScience Museum and am currently in an ad firm. :) Sorry for the last reply but thanks so much for the sweet message.

Qiya LaBeouf said...

late*